Just when you thought everything was going great…you get engaged suddenly you start doubting your relationship.
Not only are you doubting your relationship, but now your friends and family are too.
Telling your friends and family you’re having doubts about getting married can be a slippery slope….
I know when you start feeling anxious about getting married it can be really hard to not want to ask for validation from your friends and family.
You might ask questions like…
“Should I marry them?”
“Am I making the right decision?”
“Do you think he/she is the one?”
By asking for validation to your friends and family, without understanding what relationship/engagement anxiety is, their first reaction might be to tell you that if you’re doubting your decision to get married, then you probably shouldn’t be getting married.
If that puts a huge pit in your stomach, keep reading.
You see, most people don’t understand that getting married can cause a ton of anxiety.
It’s not surface level anxiety about putting on a party…no, this is deeply rooted anxiety that needs to be addressed.
But when you’re not sure what is going on and go to your friends and family for help, they don’t understand what you need.
And instead, they’re going to try and protect you by telling you to rethink your decision…as if you already haven’t been questioning it daily.
So, when you’re going through engagement anxiety, I don’t recommend talking to all your friends and family about it.
Instead, I urge you to work with someone who understands what engagement anxiety is and how to help.
(Oh hey, I can help with that!)
Then, choose one person you can confide in to talk to. BUT make sure you give them the full low down- meaning you explain to them that yes you are having doubts, but also some insight to what engagement anxiety is and why you’re feeling the way you are.
I know it’s hard to not ask for validation from the people you know best, but that is you stemming from a lack of self trust. Let’s get that repaired first.
If your friends and family tell you to break up with your fiancé, think about what you’ve been telling them. Look at it from their perspective and realize that they are only probably hearing the negative from a surface level.
If you are asking them for advice, take it with a grain of salt and also consult with a professional therapist or coach to help.
I recommend starting with the Engaged and Anxious Guidebook to help you find the root cause of your anxiety and how to start working through it.
If you’re new to Engaged and Anxious, I’m Gina. I too was an anxious bride who went from freaking out about getting married, to now happily married 5 years later. I help women (and men) work through their engagement anxiety and on their way to happy marriages.
Check out my resources – the guidebook is a great place to start – and we’ll get you on the road to healing.
Engaged and Anxious is for men and women who are scared to get married, question their relationship, need support during their engagement, and who are looking to work through their relationship anxiety and engagement anxiety to have a happy marriage.
+ Leave a comment